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Rinn's 4 Years training to D rank [Ready for review]

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Rinn's 4 Years training to D rank [Ready for review]

Post by Rinn on February 5th 2016, 6:31 am

Rinn age 14

It was the day after the old man gave Rinn the book. Rinn wondered out into the meadow and sat under the tree where his family use to have picnics and he stared at the blue sky for a good long while. Finally he sits up and pulls the book out of his bag.

"Today i start reading so mommy can be healthy and happy."
Rinn nods with self assurance and opens the book as he reads he starts to under stand that this isn't a story.. Its homework! Rinn slumps back against the tree and sighs.

" No its not home work its my job, and my job is to help mom"
Rinn starts to read again the start of the book telling him how to prepare his self to cast magic and the form needed to start.And the... "work out regiment for a healthy mage"?

"What is this? School in a book this is ridiculous. Sigh step one sprint a mile every day. step 2 100 push ups. 3 100 sit ups... 4... oh lord mom this is nuts."
Rinn stands and takes off his coat to start the mile as he sprints over the uneven terrain he falls and crashes not even half way through the mile huffing and injured. after a short break he started the push ups stops at 5. Then sit ups and so on every exercise he was less then successful with day one complete he was exhausted and worn out. A few weeks pass as Rinns body was slowly conditioned to an acceptable level. He thought it was finally time to try some magic. He ran down to little creek and knelt by the bank.

" ok i can do this. i did everything...er well almost everything that stupid book wanted me to  i cant fail this now!:
He raised his right hand supporting it with his left closing his eyes and drawing the magic circle in his mind when he opened his eyes a blue circle glowed but nothing happened. his arms drooped to his sides exhausted all ready. He laid down to take a short nap. He ended up napping for almost 6 hours and he was due to be home for dinner.

" ok one more time!"
He assumed the stance and drew the circle in his head. He was disappointing when nothing was happening. He closed his eyes willing the water to change directions. Finally he saw some results the water slowly crept its way up the other bank. He sprung up with joy and ran home for dinner. The rest of the year he worked on conditioning and form.

Year II:
Rinn age 15

The old man kept his promise he used his magic to keep my mom well shes even up and walking again making dinner for all four of us doing her guarding all i have to did is show the old man i am leaning. He said one of these days he is going to test me before i go off to join a guild something about making sure he doesn't send a drop out to take his place in the wizarding world. Well win that time comes ill be ready

A year has passed and Rinns training was paying off he was defiantly able to may the water around but he did not know any actual spells. the most he could do now is help his mother water the garden or make nifty little ice patterns during the winter. As he let thin bits of water freeze. Rinn was half way through the book by now and the book was now going to tell him how to use the water from the air but it was followed with the word boldened and bright red "WARNING NOT FOR INEXPERANCED WIZARDS"

" pft ya right i can handle this."
Rinn put his hands together  and focused on gathering water in front the the magic circle he drew. water started to collect in little droplets but something was wrong this was much different from pulling from an existing water source Rinn's vision quickly went black from the amount of Magic energy he used trying to conjure the water. He later awoke to the sound of a familiar voice.

"Hey laddy  you alright?... Hey wake up."
Rinn slowly opened his eyes where the old man was standing in his white suit and his long beard hanging in Rinns face. Rinn blew it out of his face as he slowly sat up.

" ugh i am fine... what are you doing out here?"

"Huh you expect me to give a book of magic to a kid and not pay attention you have another thing coming laddy. Not to mention listening to ye mother bragging about what a good lad you are and how well you can read, kinda lets this old man down when you clearly bite off more then you can chew even with a big ol warning."
Rinn looks a way a blushing a bit from embarrassment.
" I thought i could... I came such a long way from when i started a year ago."
" You have lad. But magic is a wonderful thing that asks quite a bit from the mage. Just make sure you know your limits before you bite off more then you can chew."
" yes sir."
Rinn continues to train the basics this year.

Rinn age 16

Its winter and Rinn is standing by the frozen lake a few miles out he gently steps onto the ice and makes his way out to the center where the ice is a bit thinner. once he get there  he drops immediately into an aggressive stance magic circle in front of  him the ice starts to groan and a sound of rushing water starts to fill the white winter air.
Just then a jet of water shoots out of the frozen lake right into the air. Rinn slowly seperates his hand maintaining the water with one circle as he creates another in his other hand and he gently bends the water so it starts curving. But the water bends no more then a little before his spell fails and all the water comes crashing down in front of him. He quickly raises his hands to cover his face so shards of ice from the lake don't hurt him. Once everything settles down. Rinn looks at the hole he made in the ice and sighs.

" I don't get it. Why are all the combat spells so complicated to master."
He unzips his coat and pulls out the blue book the old man gave him the book of "Water Magic For Beginners." he quickly thumbs through the pages till he finds the page he was on. He reads through it and the next page. Suddenly he scratches his hair in frustration.
" Fine! Once more old man! i will conquer this magic and take you on."
Rinn drops the book slamming his hands together as he  forms the circle almost instantaneously does the water shoot out of the hole this time. Rinn grits his teeth as the cold water sings his face. He separates his hand another circle forms in front of that hand he slides his hand up into the air and the roar of the water grows louder he then turns on his heel and twists his arm. The water follows his gestures . soon he has a 12 foot long stream of water snaking along with his movements. He shifts his weight angling his left hand up and his right down, The Water follows and crashes through the ice. Rinn starts to laugh and giggle  as  plunges the water in and out of the ice forming a bunch of holes. Finally he releases the spell and laughs one more time.
" That was great! I finally did it! Now the others spells should be easier."
He bends down to grab the book. As he does his moment of peace and celebration ends with a loud crack followed by a large crack that zips by him in the ice. The ice is  breaking apart along all the holes Rinn made in the ice. He started to slip around as the ice suddenly became uneven and free moving. he soon found him self on a 3 by 6 chunk of ice  that he barely manage to study himself on.
" Aww crap why did i go an do that."
He sat there for a good long while scanning his surroundings taking in the situation.
"Well looks like i am on my own this time. No one is going to be out here during the winter."
Sweat started to build on his brow and freeze in the cold weather. He was most defiantly nervous he never had to save his life before. Heck he never needed to be saved before. As he gathers his nerves the water starts to seep over the edge of his ice block if he didn't act soon the lake will claim him. He raised both his hands a magic circle glowed in both hands he then started rocking back and forth on his ice block which at first took on more water but the more he did this the rougher the surface of the lake got small waves rippled across the water. Around Rinn a larger wave form. Rinn was starting to get super exhausted from the amount of Magic energy he used in such a short time. He fought the urge to give up and pass out, if he did that now he would defiantly die. Finally Rinn managed a wave large enough to carry him ashore. He did his best to balance himself with his feet and his magic. After what seems like an eternity he crashed onto land the water washing the snow closest to shore away as Rinn flew into a snow bank just up the way.
" sigh well this is a good place as any for a nap."
he closed his eyes and rested for a short period before makeing his way home where his mother babied him and gave him some hot chocolate. The next year he does the same practices to prove him self to the old man. Its almost time to prove my self to the world.

The smell of fresh pancakes and syrup filled Rinns room. MMM did his mom know how to throw a birthday breakfast. Rinn groggly sat up in his bed the winter sun reflecting off the snow out his window blinding him. yet he smiled and shielded his eyes. He reached for his glasses and slid them on as he walked to his dresser. he grabbed the new outfit his mom and dad got him  a nice white button up shirt, Black pants that where amazingly light yet warm, his new boots, and  finally the old mans gifts. A warm Blue jacket lined with the softest white fir and a icy blue pendent with a design in it that when held up to the light made it look like water ripples filled the room. But the wonderful food and gifts weren't the only things making Rinn smile. The promise the old man and him made four years ago completes its self today. On his 18th birthday, today he and the old wizard will duel for the lasting health of his mother and a funded adventure to the grand city's of Fiore. Rinn walked out of his room and sat for breakfast. Towards the end of the meal the old wizard spoke out.

" Well laddy you ready for your big day?"

" Of course im ready i trained 4 years for this. Just for this very moment a duel with the best wizard i know! To bad your the only one i know so its not really a fair fight."
Rinn smiles a mockingly at the old man who responded with shoveing his cane into Rinns big toe. He winced.

"Don't get smart with me ye brat i will put you in your place... Now that breakfast is over lets make it official. I Erien Grey Egbert officially challenge you Rinn Arumaze to a wizards duel. Do you accept?

" Of course. I Accept your Duel old man Egbert."
Rinn snickers at the old mans ridiculous name. Who again responds with shoving his cane into Rinns foot.

" Very well meet me at the lake in two hours and don't be late its not polite."
Rinn spends the following two hours getting mentally prepared. He spent time going over his notes reading book marked pages in the book for spells he practice. He was set on winning this today. Two hours went by a lot faster then he expected but he couldn't complain to much he was to excited for the duel to wait anyways. He made his way to the lake at a comfortable pace. Upon arriving 1o minutes late his jaw dropped. The lake he once trained on was thawed in the dead of winter, and Kris Crossing paths of stone weaved its way through out the entire lake. The old man stood  in the center of the lake on a small stone island.

" Your late boy'o.Its not polite to keep a old man or your wizard opponent waiting."

" Oh chill old man its just five minutes."

" Five minutes is long enough to piss your opponent off boy'o. Unless that was your strategy you just lost your advantage."
Rinn stands in silence trying to hold back a grin.

" Get out her and let us begin."
Rinn nods then steps on to the stone path gingerly. The randomly formed stone path was rather unnerving. As soon as he was half way to the old man. He clicks his cane on the ground and the stone path started to shift parts fell into the water and crumbled away other parts raised and became uneven. The path under Rinns feet started to crumble, he quickly jumps off to the side to avoid falling in the water.

" Now lets begin. Our rules don't fall in the water a-and don't die. Good luck boy'o"
Just as he finished green circles spread out on both sides of the old man. 1 foot by 1 foot chunks of the path lift out of the water and throw them selves at Rinn.

Rinn sprints down the path and dives to dodge the rocks. They impact the path making both the path and rocks crumble into the  water. Rinn barely manages to stand up before the next volley of rocks  hit. He sprints down the path as it crumbled right behind  him, he takes an immediate right facing away from the old wizard now. Rinn quickly turns on his heels both hands together pointed at the old man. Nothing happens... rinn quickly jumps back and a rock smashes the path the icy water splashes and hits his face. so cold it burns  his face.

" Comon Boy'o your going to take a swim if you don't start fighting back."

Rinn takes two lefts and jumps a gap in the path He was now off to the right of him now. He draws his hands over the water  it raises slowly into a long tendril of water, he throws his hand towards the old man and the water st towards. Before it hit the old man it loses its form and falls into the water.

" This is a lot harder under pressure..."
Rinn continues getting closer to the old man who has yet to move, once Rinn moves onto his left sides Rinn lights up his magic circles  and starts waving his hands back and forth over the water. A  8 foot wave splashes up and over the old man. Rinn pumps his fist in victory... which may have come to soon. As soon as the water cleared a dome of stone stood where the old man was. Seconds later the dome split and the old man stood in the center now facing Rinn.

"Now now you think i am this old and look this fantastic to be going for a swim?"
Rinn frowns at realizing how out matched he is. Rinn raised both his hands as two tendrils of water shoot out at the old man. The old wizard beats  the first tendril with his cane the next wraps around the cane and rips it out of his hand. He stumbles forward balancing on the edge of his little island. He slowly stands from his hunched position his old bones creaking and popping. Once he is fully standing he stands a tall 6 ft 2 inches tall and he defiantly doesn't look like a scrawny old man any more.

" Hohoho. I don't need my cane Boy'o."
The old man claps his hands together and a the thunderous clap echos through out the area, followed by a line of earth spiking up towards Rinn at an alarming speed. Rinn dives for the safety but doesn't get far enough from the attack radius. Rinn gets thrown and skids down the path his face inches from the water surface his reflection staring  back at him. It was time for one final go its do or freeze... Rinn touches his hand to the surface of the water his blue circle spreads across the  surface. A gyser of water shoots up into the sky till a 12 foot long water tendral flew in the air and shot at the old man. He grins

"Thats it boy'o you did well... but it wont be enough."
The watery snake slams down the man jumps left then again to the right as the snake throws another volley of rocks at Rinn who steps behind The wall of rock made by the old man. The snakes movement now became blind  and started pummeling the ground. The old wizard started bouncing back and forth side to side Dodging each impact. Rinn steps out  and brings both hands down. The snake plummets and smashes right over the old man He raises a column of  stone to block the water cracked the stone and runs off in all directions. Rinn rushes out from cover and  waves his hands two blue circles  appear behind the old man both tendrils wrap around the old mans legs and pulls him off his island. The old man stumbles back and starts to fall into the open water which is quickly replaced by stone he lands with a thud. The old man turns and faces Rinn with a huge smile on his face.

" Good job boy'o. but not enough."
He shoves his palm forward and and a recreation of his hand and slams into Rinn who flew all the way to the shore shortly after reaching the shore and slamming into the ground he blacks out from lack of oxygen. Few minutes later he is woken up by the old man waving a vial under his nose.

"Good work boy'o you made me proud today. If you can make it to. The Capitol Crocus  a guild is there they might take you in. But be prepared to prove yourself, the journey itself will be easy but the adventure will long tedious and at time very dangerous please prepare yourself Rinn Arumaze. I will see you back at the house.

Rinn grins and slowly sits up watching the old man walk away hunched over his cane again. A few minutes later Rinn stands and makes his way home to pack for his new adventure.

Posts : 53
Join date : 2016-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Washington

Character sheet
STR: D-rank
SPE: D-rank

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Re: Rinn's 4 Years training to D rank [Ready for review]

Post by Itazuki on February 12th 2016, 1:16 am

The story was well-thought and I really enjoyed reading because of the creativity you gave to it; however there were a bit silly mistakes, here and there. You used the word "defiantly" a lot too lol. Overall a good story; 12/20 points to be given.

Points awarded.


Posts : 450
Join date : 2014-08-26
Age : 20
Location : Saudi Arabia, Riyadh.

Character sheet
STR: S-rank
SPE: S-rank


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